TURN YOUR BACK ON ME...FINE

Today, I actually felt really pissed. My day was going really well until that happened. What's up with you anyway??? IS it just me or are you ashamed of me? It's really really turning me off. I try to do something good and that's how you react?

Fine then... Is that how it's going to be? I mean damn... Don't give me such a hard time. I've been through so much already.

I wish all the pretense would just disappear. You're just too good for anyone aren't you?

I can take all the flack you've been giving out...but I can only take so much. Let me ask you again. I wish you could answer me honestly and whole-heartedly.

"Are you ashamed of me?"...

Fine then. Turn away. Avoid me like the plague. Don't talk to me. It's all one way so far. And I don't feel anything from you. I haven't felt anything REAL so far.

NOTHING! NOTHING FUCKING REAL THAT'D BE NICE TO HOLD ON TO DURING TIMES LIKE THIS.

You know... I hate saying all of this. IT FUCKING HURTS FOR EVEN ME TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS EVEN HAPPENING. I wish I didn't have to believe all this horse-shit I'm writing. I wish I wasn't so goddamn nice to you.

But you know, it's all so clear now. Well I don't know really but I think I see something really pathetic in the near future. I wish I could shut up about all of this... Coz... in the end...

It's me who gets hurt not you. I want to stop feeling this way but, you see, I just can't do that. I've never felt this way about anyone else. I'm in so deep... it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to get out.

This is really irritating.

But I cannot forget... I refuse to regret... I'm so glad I met you... You take my breath away... You have this talent that makes everyday worth all of the pain that I have gone through.

All I need is... (sarcastic sadistic laugh)

Haha, I know that's impossible. And I know it's never going to happen.

It's funny how I think I know what the outcome of this would be. I guess I'm just so stuck on you...

...