Disappointment

As the days inch closer and closer to D-Day I find myself getting rather annoyed at a lot of things. Why does this always happen when this once-a-year occasion of mine comes along? This just made my day once again. Whoop-tee-doo...

Damn it.

Nawalan ako ng gana.

:|

Great...the light in my room just got busted. Talk about sympathy for the brooding one. Just like a giant grey raincloud following me around and constantly raining on my parade.

There is little to look forward to...

Haha... Ha...Great...

I could have gotten the same satisfaction if I talked to a rock I guess...
That's it. I'm sorry it even started.

Thank you for all the things you did and didn't do.

Goodbye.

After A While...

AFTER A WHILE …

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company does not mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. And you begin to build all your roads on today for tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to give you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure … that you are strong. And you really do have worth.


AFTER “AFTER A WHILE”

After ‘after a while’, you want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but to enjoy it’s company, and you want someone’s lips to kiss, not because you are lonely but because you are happy, and you want to give presents and you want to make promises. After ‘after a while’, you begin to accept your defeats like an adult, but like a child, will want someone to listen and care, and you want someone who will build roads with you today so maybe you can pave the way for your future together. After ‘after a while’, you want someone’s sunshine and warmth, but also accept the rain and the cold, and you want to give flowers picked from your own garden. And when your garden is picture perfect, you want it to be more than a picture even if it means having to be imperfect because you want someone in it to stay and to live. Then you’ll see that there is such a thing as love … and that you were made to live in someone else’s garden … and you’ll know that there is more to life than yourself.

AND NOW …

You realize that no matter how tightly you hold, if you’re meant to let go, you can. And then you will understand that love gives you reasons to understand even the most complicated situations. And you will grow older believing that just because you have convictions doesn’t mean you’re always right. You will remember the lips because of the smiles that made your day, the words that touched your soul, not only because of the sweet kisses. And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb the meaning of lessons learned, you feel that you are finally being the person you never thought you’d be. So armed with courage, strength and confidence, you will face the world head on … with or without an army behind you. Because you know your worth and that alone is an armor. With more heartbreak you will cry … but after every heartache, you will rise. Life is a garden … it takes long to make it beautiful. But it’s always worth the wait.

- anonymous

The second I caught her eye...

I was doing fine a few hours ago. The lack of sleep for the past few days has been killing me... I've been sick fer two days now.

And then I had to look... I didn't have to. It's not like I didn't want to either, but still... I've been in this stupid place for far too long. Should I wait? Should I push through with it? I'm just setting myself up. I know now why I feel this disturbed.

Ateneo suddenly didn't look as beautiful as it should have from where I was... Everything is relative.

I could be wrong but at the same time, I can't help but feel like I'm right. I could give everything but I could lose whatever sanity I had saved from the last time.

What to do? "I wish you knew..."

Crazy

I just hate it when things like this happen. NOT :)

You Know What's Coming...

Don't let me hate you... Don't let me regret all the things I did. Don't! Don't! Don't!

Don't let me HATE YOU...

Don't... or maybe you're too late? Let's just wait and see...

~

And as for you...

Fuck you.

One day you'll feel it too. Fuck you! You know who you are. You are the only person in the world I won't forgive. Burn in hell you lousy motherfucker. You'll just have to learn the hard way. When your time comes, you'll regret everything you ever did to me.

3:20 in the Morning

Advice for the young at heart
Soon we will be older
When we gonna make it work ?

Too many people living in a secret world
While they play mothers and fathers
We play little boys and girls
When we gonna make it work ?
I could be happy
I could be quite naive
Its only me and my shadows
Happy in our make believe
Soon...

And with the hounds at bay
Ill call your bluff
Cos it would be okay
To walk on tiptoes everyday

And when I think of you and all the love thats due
Ill make a promise, Ill make a stand
Cos to these big brown eyes, this comes as no surprise
We've got the whole wide world in our hands

Advice for the young at heart
Soon we will be older
When we gonna make it work ?

Love is promise
Love is a souvenir
Once given
Never forgotten, never let it disappear
This could be our last chance
When we gonna make it work ?
Working hour is over

And how it makes me weep
Cos someone sent my soul to sleep

And when I think of you and all the love thats due
Ill make a promise, Ill make a stand
Cos to these big brown eyes, this comes as no surprise
We've got the whole wide world in our hands

Advice for the young at heart
Soon we will be older
When we gonna make it work ?

Working hour is over
We can do anything that we want
Anything that we feel like doing
Advice...
~Tears For Fears

Thinking...

One day I'll wake up and it won't hurt anymore. One day I'll wake up and it will all be over. One day I'll wake up and I won't even remember who you are. One day you'll wake up wondering who I was. One day you'll wake up missing me. One day you'll wake up wondering... One day... someday... you will forget all those promises, all those moments... And then what?

I don't want to guess.

I make my own future.