Bang!

Control...

To control is to exercise authoritative or dominating influence over an object, thought, body, purpose, mind, etc and the list goes on.

Am I in control of my life? It's funny how I thought of this just a few minutes ago. It actually hit me while I was in the ARPT range earlier but it's only now that I'm feeling the essence of the question.

I think I am... I mean I hope I am. I have doubts about this since I just proved myself wrong this afternoon. I bombed my Filipino long test... I was absolutely horrified by my mediocre performance. I am utterly pathetic, I tell you.

I wish I could control my life... (I actually think that this is something futile to accept)

I'd want to give an example of this.

In competitive shooting, it's a battle for control over your nerves. You have to master the perfect breathing technique so as to gain complete control over your movement. Breathe in and out a couple of times before aiming at your target to slow your heart rate. Then exhale slowly while bringing the gun up. You have to start aiming as soon as you find your sweet spot on the stock of the rifle. Time your breathing...

Now, you might loose control of your breathing. Your hands may start shaking, your muscles may start twitching if you don't execute everything properly.

You can choose to stop breathing, but in the end, the body's powerful urge to continue its existence compels you to gasp for air. This is something so primal... so instinctive... so fascinating.

I don't know how to end this so I'll just keep things hanging for now.