Something Deep... Something Done... Something Still Happening...

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As I drive through C-5, I keep glancing your way...

You look out the window silently with nothing more to say. I make up some weird story just to keep your attention on me and not on the outside view whizzing past you.

(I ask you this question)

You slowly think awhile and laugh...

This soft laugh fills me...

The tone of your voice echoing throughout the car keeps me calm... I love hearing you try to answer my question...

You briefly look at me and smile... I glance from my side of the car to where you're at and I return this sweet gesture...

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With you I could have driven unto forever... Anything seemed possible with you there... smiling.

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What thoughts hound you tonight? What's keeping me from getting close to you? I wish I knew what it was all about...

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Were you really there that night? You seemed to be consumed by something else... Even before the event started...

You seemed to be contemplating something so deep... Was it bad timing? Maybe I was a victim of circumstance... I wish "they" picked a better time to unleash their frustrations on you.

I wish "she" picked a better time to do that... I wish "she" wasn't so hard on you...

It's not your fault.

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You looked so good... You still do.

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I miss you... so much...

Groove Me

I finally downloaded this song by South Border, and it sure brings back the good old days of RnB. I prefer the sound of the old members of this group coz they captured the true sound of RnB unlike the new South Border. They're now too "with the flow". Damn copycats.

Anyways... speaking of copycats. :D

What's with "Okaii"? and "Heaheaheahe"? and "Shem"? and even "Rawr"?

It just hit me... Why do i even use these words? Haha, I guess it just reminds me of my friends' personalities so much, i guess i assimilate them. I think i do this so i can somehow feel closer to them.

Amazing theory hahaha. Damn! There I go again! Amazing, yet another word I've taken in for my own use.

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Oh, yesterday, i was able to dig up my dad's super duper old Aviator lenses. Those extra large Ray-Bans hahaha. Yeah, those. I feel so 80's now. And it looks brand-spankin' NEW.

Eat your heart out Paul Phoenix! I've got shades like you too!!!

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Damn...I got a haircut yesterday... Luckily they didn't remove my sideburns or goatee or else i would've murdered them!

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Jogging with this new Mp3 player rocks... I'm going jogging again later. Another 10 laps anyone? hahaha, I will reach my goal by the end of this summer!

I will become a sexy bastard!!! Yeah baby yeah!!! (in an Austin Powers accent :P)

Eaze out!

I Miss That Salad...

You know...

It isn't eazy missing someone. Especially if you miss them terribly. Have you ever been driven to the brink of madness? Everyday, I try my damn best not to think of this person. But despite my attempts at trying not to, I always end up doing so in the end.

You see, I have a theory.

A conspiracy theory.

When you miss someone so much, the world conspires against you. The CRUEL world taunts you by letting you recall the best memories with that person. The goal of the world is to drive you utterly insane with all of these times it gives you to reminisce.

What is insanity? It is missing someone... (con't next few entries...)

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Happiness. Where is it?... I can't seem to find it...

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I'm praying for you. Tell you what, if they don't call you, I'll burn them down with you.

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This new MP3 player rocks totally! So much for that I-shuffle hahaha

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Dreams for the Summer (Goals Actually)

Here's my short list of Dreams that I'd like to accomplish and reach by the time summer ends. Kaya naman eh. I just have to put my mind to it.

1. Bench Press 230 lbs. Dead-lift 320 lbs. Leg-press 480 lbs. by the end of the summer. Kaya toh ;) I've come close actually.

2. Become the best bass player i can be like someone I personally know like Nino Avenido. Hahaha...(Keep practicing EZ)

3. Lose weight.

4. Bike at least an hour a day.

5. ASSIMILATE THE LOOK AND BODY OF PAUL PHOENIX.

6. The last one's kinda personal...it concerns someone really really really extra special. :D

I'm sure i can do the first 4. The 5th one will be pretty hard. The last one will take me a while. Years to be precise. I'm pretty serious about the last one.

Wish me luck on my "almost impossible dream list"

I love life.

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Thanks for that Nicole. Peace out too. ;]

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Eaze signing off...

PAUL PHOENIX!!! RAWRRR!!! :D

Hahaha, I am so down with this guy. I totally idolize him. He rocks!!! I will be Paul Phoenix!!!

This is the third largest bruise i got. Owww... It's on my left leg. whoopee... Anyways, everything else you see is just part of my ermmm fight? rawr...I just love martial arts :D

This one's the biggest bruise I got. It occupies 1/3 of my entire upper thigh... gruesome right? :D hehehe

It's 2:53 a.m. (yawn)... Anyways, this "thing" occupies my entire left deltoid... It looks pretty cool actually. "I am mortal after all" hahaha ;) owww

Am I Chasing Ashes?

You know... I just realized... I owe you an apology. Wait, I don't. Or do I? Ahh whatever... I just want to say that what I have now is enough for me.

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There’s just so much sky out there…

I guess I wished on a star that's just too damn far and too damn bright... and too damn beautiful.

You know... I'm willing to give you everything and anything just to keep you happy... I’d give up so much for you. And if this is how it's going to be then so be it. I'm happy with the way it is now. Maybe I need to see the deeper meaning in all of this... I think I have...

I'll just be here. I'll always be here... for you. I'd rather be part of your life then not be in it at all.

I guess being jealous and envious got the better of me.

I can't be selfish.

I was being so unrealistic about all of this. How can I deprive you of everyone else’s attention and love? I’m not the only one in this world who adores you. That much I know.

You see it's like this... when I was going through rough times and my life seemed bleak and nothing short of a horror story, you showed up. In fact, I didn’t take note of you at first. You slipped my grasp. How could I not notice someone as radiant and as wonderful as you from the start?

Well, that’s over now. I can’t change the past. I’m thankful for everything that you’ve given me. I look forward to making more memories with you. I just love everything about you. By now, I think you know that.

*note to self (Never assume. Assumptions can kill you.)

Words fail me tonight…

Maybe one day I could write all of this in a better way. I could choose the right words carefully and come up with something that actually is significant. Well, I’m sure this counts since all of what I’m typing comes from deep within.

I could never be more honest with anyone else you know. It has always been about you…

You bring out the best in me. You rock.

Back to life! Back to normal! Back to being the way it was and the way it should be. Eaze signing off…

Joyride?

I have come to look on the brighter side of life now. It's amazing how one's laughter can easily cure your "bad" day. My deepest thanks to you. ;)

Today was the usual sleepy day. I woke up late. I later decided to hang out with Sabs since she YM-ed me that she wasn't doing much. We had Mcdonald's Double Cheeseburgers and fries in Ateneo. We hung out and swapped stories while feeding this pesky cat some fries near the Soccer Field in the high school until dusk which was pretty cool. We shared some insights on certain issues ;) It seems I'm not alone with my twisted perversions. Kidding. Lol. Amazing niece i have back there.

Please. If you do that powerslide again, I shall "keel" you! But, overall, that impressed me. First time driver, girl pa, to do that... Hands down ;)

If I pulled the handbrake...hmmm...? Hahaha next time we'll do better.

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This Is Crazy

I can't fucking sleep. What the fuck is that?... I am so tired of all of this crap. I think I'll run off now...

I don't need this...

It's 3:07am and I think I will take a nice bike ride around the neighborhood or Ateneo.

Goodbye...

I need to lose myself.

I wish I could just die...

No one would notice anyway...

Fuck this...

I Don't Know...

Should I clean my room?

I don't know...

Should I go to the gym?

I don't know...

Should I update my computer files?

I don't know...

Great, this all looks so promising. I have so much time on my hands i have nothing better to do but put off things and procrastinate. Whoops that's the same thing. Damn. Anyways, I biked around Ateneo a while ago. I cleaned my trusty bike this evening. It's been ages since I've taken a ride on it. It felt good polishing it's body again. I tuned it up with WD-40 haha. I love that can of wonder oil.

Anyways, biking around in Ateneo kanina made me think about lots of things. I remembered so many significant school events like the Grad Ball, our graduation, our Grade School graduation, my first holy communion, my confirmation, my ACET, my Prom (oops that doesn't count), my NCOCC training, endless Days With The Lord outings and my tiring gym sessions in Moro.

Why is everything happening so fast?

...What now E.Z.?
...I don't know...

I feel so lost.

How do I get this to be my profile picture?

Pieces of Me

This is my second post for today. The other one is after this. Keep scrolling down...

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
And she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

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We bit our lips.
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker.
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just
Slipped out and what went wrong.

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Oh, the way she feels about me has changed.
Thanks for playing, try again.

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Oh I’m never speaking up again.
Starting now

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One more thing.
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it’s all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny.
Looks like the joke's on me
So call me captain backfire

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I’m never speaking up again it only hurts me.

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I’d rather be a mystery than she desert me.

Summer Days

Today I just spent a few hours with Dino. I had to shimmy off to his place so we could head to the bank and his cousin’s pad. We seemed fine…I think. But I could tell we weren’t too hot about the past few days and the upcoming week. I think we both miss MK. It’s funny how we share this sentiment.

What makes us miss MK so much? There’s something about this barkada that makes us yearn for their company, attention, friendship etc. and I could go on and on. I’ve never been this attached to a group of people. Correction, Dino and I have never felt so attached to a group of wonderful people. (Actually attached narin ako sa kanya eh haha lol. BADING PARE.)

It just hit me. I’ve finally found so many reasons to hate and love summer.

Summer is the time us weary students can relax and totally chill from the hectic life of academics. We can finally enjoy staying out late without worrying about how to wake up and survive the monotonous classroom sessions school has to offer the next day. Going out of town and flying abroad are grand ideas too. Spending quality time with friends are a definite thumbs up for summer.

The idea of the perfect summer is so appealing it’s crazy. Now there’s a word. Crazy.

The perfect summer seems to be withering away for me. Here are some quirks in this summer hullabaloo.

I realized that summer can also mean boring days with nothing, absolutely nothing, to do. We’re so free, it can kill us. If you have friends who live near you, well my comrade, kudos to you. You’re really screwed if you live all the way in God knows where.

Now that you’re done watching all the TV programs on the boob tube and your ref’s empty, what do you do? Your air conditioner conks out. Now what? No cash? Amazing…

Gawd, summer is F-ing sneaky! Oh the way it disguises itself as something so fabulous, so relaxing, so beautiful…only to find out later that all these notions and perceptions are full of horse shit. Pardon my language.

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I guess I’m just so down now. Maybe that’s why I feel like this. I don’t get it. I need company. I need someone to talk to. Or maybe I just need to preoccupy myself by training in the gym and forgetting incidents worth forgetting.

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I love the lyrics of John Mayer. He is totally profound. His lyrics really hit me. I’m guessing his songs are the only ones now that can totally explain my frustrations.

I have here some verses and lines I’d like to quote from his albums. Wait let that be for my next post. Eaze signing off…